HERstory

He Chases After The One 

Hello, Beacons of Light! My name is Erika L. G.. I am the founder, CEO, and writer of Elle Divine. I am so glad you are here! It means so much to me that you would take the time to learn a little about me. Here’s a little of my story in how I truly began my journey of relationship with God.

I am originally from New Haven, Connecticut. I am Puerto Rican and Black. As a child until my early teens, I attended a Spanish speaking Pentecostal church. However, I had not yet experienced the true character of God: gracious, merciful, and loving. I had known God through a religious lens. I saw the “Just” God, however, I missed the grace, mercy, and love. 

At a very young age and throughout my childhood, I was repeatedly hurt deeply by the church and by individuals who were supposed to protect and love me. So, at about 14 years old, I walked away from God. Essentially, I allowed the hurts of people to influence my thoughts about God and the decision to walk away from Him. 

Within my social community, those I sought to find connection and commonality with had rejected me. As a result of experiencing rejection from both cultures, I felt like an outcast and isolated; challenged in how to identify and find value within my identity. 

These experiences took a toll on me and I became angry with people and God. Having an identity crisis can be a recipe for disaster and lead a person to travel a dark path. Well that was me! My path included: self-destruction, self-dependence, denial of culture/identity, and seeking love/approval in all the wrong places; among other negative attributes. Many times, I found myself standing at the altar asking for forgiveness, love, and acceptance from God. All the while, I was ignorant to the reality that I had already been granted that forgiveness, love, identity, and acceptance. Although I spoke the words and desired my request deeply, my heart never intended to allow Him in; I was too afraid. 

What I found out later was: desire without intent and positive motives, can make a relationship with Jesus nearly impossible, leaving a person with nothing but pain. In my obscurity, my lack of relationship with God was covered in excuses: too hard, too painful, too sacrificial, and too much effort. 

God had become a mean, angry, unloving, dictatorial giant in my mind and heart. I had created a false image of God based on affliction, head knowledge, and the sinful nature of humanity. I was wearing a blindfold threaded with lies! Truth be told, it takes more work to be of this world than to be of Christ. Not to mention all the baggage you accumulate! So, it was not until I was 29 years old that I decided to get serious about having a relationship with Jesus enticed by one simple request by a dear friend: “Watch this service, this coming Sunday. You can watch it from home.” Let me tell you something, God can use anything or anybody anywhere to speak to your soul and your heart. 

My Encounter with Jesus

On July 3, 2016, while watching a Joel Osteen service online, I made the decision to rededicate my life to Christ. It was on that day that I asked God once and for all, to reveal Himself to me. I bargained with Him. If He would reveal Himself to me, I would never turn away from Him again. However, if He did not, I would never turn to Him again. Pretty bold, I know, but it is the truth! By the way, I would not recommend bargaining with God, He deserves more than that and is only like the most powerful being in the universe. Believe me when I say, I had a lot to learn! 

In my room that day, I was truly at a point of disparity. I was done knowing God through the lens of this world. I needed Him to be my guiding light, no one else. It was imperative to know Him for myself. My belief in Him that day, was stronger than it had ever been. I genuinely believed His presence was with me and felt His tug at my heart. I was convinced He would take me on and believed this time would be different. I trusted that I would find Him and it was a chance I was willing to take. So on July 3, 2016, was when my life really began. 

Why did He do it?! Now looking back I would say, He took me on, not because I deserved it or out of obligation. Rather because I am His daughter, He loves me, and He is a man of grace. 

From the moment I said yes in my heart, He began teaching me about His grace, mercy, and love. God wants His children to know Him! 

In the book of John, Jesus tells us, “He is the good shepherd and we are His sheep. His sheep will hear His voice, know His voice, and follow Him” (paraphrased). All those years I lacked knowing God, I lacked the ability to recognize His voice. I lacked the understanding that my identity would only be truly found in Christ. It was by His grace, that on July 3rd in 2016, He helped me to recognize His call to come home. 

I had come to the place of the Prodigal Son. Like the son, He wholeheartedly embraced me and welcomed me back home to Him. 

Knowing Him takes having a relationship with Him, and I lacked that understanding. In Romans, Apostle Paul highlights how Jesus paved the way for us to be in relationship with the Father. Following Jesus is not about knowing everything and coming to the place of “All Knowing”. NOPE. Sorry to break it to you, but that is God’s job. It’s the mystery that truly allows us to always rely on Him and allow Him to sit in the chair of control. Yup, I said it, control. Control is what we all want. However, could we really handle it? Nope, not even if we tried! Look at the COVID global crisis, need I say more? 

Following Jesus is not religion, rather it is about relationship. A relationship built on love, hope, truth, and belief. It requires a posture of faith and an act of faithfulness. Faithfulness being Him to you and you to Him. This relationship requires dedication and investment. It is work, as any relationship is, but the fruits of such a relationship is worth any amount of work. 

This is my story! An imperfect person, saved by a perfect God. He saved me from myself and the darkness of this world. I am forever indebted to Him for all that He has done, and it is by His grace that He does not require payment. I am a work in progress and forever will be until the day I meet Him in eternity. Isn’t the Gospel such a beautiful love story?! God is rewriting my story and I look forward to what is next. I see so clearly how, through my story, God was writing the script, heart, and foundation of Elle Divine. 

Is He Calling You Home?

I want you to know, you are not alone and there is nothing God cannot change or reinvent in your life. God is not ashamed of you and does not want to condemn you. He loves you and longs to speak with you. Accepting Jesus Christ is not based on a set of rules. His love changes you and what He requires is out of love and protection, not suffocation or control. He wants you to be free and not bound by the chains of darkness. If you have not accepted Christ into your life as your Lord and Savior and today you hear His call, are you willing to say, “Yes”? 

Open your heart and repeat after me,

“Lord Jesus Christ, I accept You into my life and by faith proclaim You as my Lord and Savior. I believe you died on the Cross and rose from the dead to save me. Father, forgive me of my trespasses and adopt me into Your kingdom. Holy Spirit I welcome Your presence and open my heart to You. I want my body to be Your Holy Temple. Thank you, in Jesus Name. Amen.  

However, if you are not ready, it is okay. God is patient and accepts you just as you are. He loves you and does not find gratitude in force. I pray you believe that wholeheartedly. 

God Bless You!

Your sister in Christ and fellow Beacon,

 Erika L. G.

My story through music: Resurrecting by Elevation Worship, You First by Riley Clemmons, Masterpiece by Jonathan Traylor